My Awakening

When will the search end.... search for knowledge .... acquiring one after another one leading to the other... What makes me do this...?  I looked deeper for an answer.... "I feel inadequate" .. oh! what an answer. I am also aware of the intellectual ego I have.  It cannot be true ...

Inadequate for what ? or about what ??  and POWER is the answer.
Very Surprising.....

How can this be ...?  I am always humbled with my knowledge of the unknown which I cannot measure and look up at people with awe,
how much have i learned from every teacher... and why this answer comes to me.....?

IS the statement "Knowledge is POWER" influencing my inner voice... But that is God answering... I better accept the statement and look at means of validating it.

I have been on this learning pursuit for years both formal and informal.. I always find an excuse to start teaching what I have learnt. I tell myself just let me finish with this one it is in the right direction. The date seems to be crawling away each time.This reminds me of Ma Yashoda trying to bind the Lord the rope is always short of 2 fingers....  Wait a minute what did the 2 fingers represent !!!!!

Not taking up your life pupose is what I have been told by my Masters again and again and lo! this pursuit of Power stands a big hurdle...

Suddenly I am feeling tired !!! 

I want the Knowledge to transform in to DEVOTION and seek GRACE.. the feeling of tiredness transforming into SURRENDER and ACCEPTANCE.

I had enough of Intentional Learning now allow me to witness and be AWARE.  Enough of the feeling of lack!!!  release this completely and feel the Abundance of the Universe flowing through you. " You will surely know the Right Thing at the Right Time when you need it. There is enough demonstration that had happened and YOU JUST TRUST"  is what I told myself.

I am perfect the way I am I realize... I Love myself for whatever I am. and completely Approve of ME..  I don't need to do anything to change. Oh! what a relief first time I am feeling I have no need to do anything.

I look at the people around and find that it is easier to understand them for what they are, not expecting them to be what I want. More acceptance !! This is amazing..  I LET GO.. They no longer irritate me... In fact I irritated myself for what I wanted from them. All in my mind. I release them. Surprisngly there is so much more time to think about myself. 

I have shed all the messages that have been fed into me by people around. the way I behave, talk and present myself. The subjects I should ideally study... The kind of marriage I enter into.. what makes me a good mother... I did not know what was right or wrong. I just worked for the certificates. from whom?  From equally confused people who struggled to meet the mediocre interpretations of the messages... absolutely tired. I release all these needs. I release my Ideologies which contribute to my inflated Ego.  The goodness .. spiritual Ego is more dangerous and the biggest Pit. I release my need for being POWERFUL.

It is not my job to change the world.. I am not there to rescue people... People are powerful in their own way. They are perfect as they are.. I don't need to make a Bittergourd sweet. I just accept that it is what it is.

I know about love.... in every role. Not only when to give but also when to Let Go. I am what I am not because of the other. Neither I nor They can demand Love..

I know I am capable of loving myself .. taking care of my needs  just as I thought I have taken care of others.. Just to give the same attention to myself.

Enjoying the time which I now have for myself..  with no struggle for Identity!!
Just me !!!

I look around with this awakening and it is beautiful!!

I exist everywhere and POWER over ME sounds ridculous ha.. ha.. ha !!!


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Sundaram - 2 B 1

What am I saying .... ? that one has to effort consciously to be beautiful  !!!!

or that one has to aspire to being Sundaram ....

I presume I am saying that everything is beautiful the way it is..... Sundaram - To be One, is the process of acceptance and joy of being One with the Universe ..  with acceptance One just expands into consciousness of the UNIVERSE.

The integration is an ongoing process never complete in itself.  It happens by being courageous and open to being aware of one's feelings and emotions .... getting in touch with them and understanding them...   the discoveries are amazing....  the readiness to be vulnerable and to be able to look at the so-called darker side of self is the key to the unfolding. Identifying the roots of the feelings is in itself rolling out transformation and change . It requires COURAGE for sure. The Universe does it for you in a miraculous way One doesn't need to make resolutions to bring in the change... It just happens . One bumps into events ... messages .. books.... people... organisations  which are just what one needs to know at that moment. The whole Universe transpires to work with the entity. One just glides through the street of transformation....


Having accepted the beauty of Being.... there exists no concern for a image.. no concern for a future. No desire for projections.. for pretensions .... for proving...  no shrugging of shoulders  One just realises the ONENESS and transcends the desire to do any action. One is more accepting towards Self and there is  a flow of love with no barricades ... no blocks.....  One is more expressive of an emotion lives the emotion with no inhibitions whatsoever....  One is able to understand social norms better and accept the bigger picture...

Sundaram is life... It makes One live..... believe.... love ...  trust  and express....

Sundaram - to be one,  is to appreciate nature the way it is... Nature as in sky, sun, moon, stars, seas, rivers, oceans, mountains..  rain, wind, breeze ...  earth, mud, sand, water, trees, plants, shrubs, flowers, fruits.... forests, farms,  deserts .... colours, fragrances, tastes ... sounds, feelings, expressions of humans, birds, snakes, elephants, tigers ....  of  disease ...deaths  .. floods  .. tsunamis... land slides ... earthquakes   ...  

Witnessing dispassionately Deceit, Murder, Betrayal, Pain.

Experiencing Truth ! Love ! Joy!

Sundaram - to be one,  is acceptance of what is ....
Sundaram is acceptance of the manifestations both within and without...
living in awareness of.......
SELF ..  and OTHERS

That is when ONE becomes ONE with the UNIVERSE..